


Be Alright

by CreativeCoolCat



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Depression, Gen, Sad, Self-Esteem Issues, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:13:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27519685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreativeCoolCat/pseuds/CreativeCoolCat
Summary: A short one-shot of Akaashi struggling with depression and self-esteem issues.
Kudos: 6





	Be Alright

Bzzt...Bzzt...Bzzt…

He looked over tiredly. His phone was buzzing, though it only registered faintly in his head. 

What was he trying to do? 

Oh that’s right...he was trying to study. The words on the textbook’s page were blurring. He couldn’t focus on anything but the overwhelming suffocating feeling welling up deep inside of him. It was an all-consuming darkness, weighing heavily on his chest and making it so hard to breathe. 

He could feel his ribs move to expand, his lungs filling with air. But it hurt with every movement, and the more he focused on it, the more he could feel it suffocating him. Everything just felt so overwhelming. 

Bzzt...Bzzt...Bzzt…

His phone kept on buzzing. He couldn’t know what to do. It just felt so empty; there were no emotions, only the suffocating feeling. 

He checked the time. It was well past midnight. He had volleyball tomorrow, but somehow couldn’t muster up the thrill he usually felt when he thought of the sport. He couldn’t feel anything.

He ran a hand over his face and let out a small groan. He needed to study for the English exam that would take place tomorrow, but found no will to do so. He didn’t seem to care if he failed or not. It seemed fated that he would fail, and attempting to do otherwise was a wasted and futile effort. Just a waste of energy that would bear nothing but failure and disappointment. 

Bzzt...Bzzt...Bzzt…

Who was it? He focused his eyes, blinking them slowly a few times. He flexed his hands a few times, trying to slowly regain control over his fingers. He couldn’t even control his fingers. They were numb. How pitiful is that? He couldn’t control a simple bodily function that he needed for everything. He needed his hands for school, for volleyball...for Bokuto-san. 

He finally got his fingers to twitch, his hand to move, his fingertips to wrap around his phone. The glossy texture of the phone made it feel as if it would slip out of his fingers, just as it felt like his life was. 

The screen buzzed to life. A name popped up, the neatly printed kanji of the message typed underneath. The message was unimportant to him right now. All that mattered was the name.

Bokuto-san.

He was filled with a slight dread. What right did he have to Bokuto-san? To be his friend? To be his setter? To even speak with Bokuto-san? 

He was so presumptous. So egotistical. The team would be better off without him. He was a predestined failure. He couldn’t even finish studying, and it was certain that it would cost him his grade on the English test. The least he could do was leave the team, so they wouldn’t be dragged down with him. 

So he wouldn’t cause Bokuto-san to fail too. 

It was an all-consuming tidal wave of despair. The realization of what he had done to everyone. What he was. 

There was something wet. He couldn’t see, blinded by a different type of blurriness than the heaviness and tiredness that weighed down his bones, his very being. He blinked, and something warm ran down his face. 

He was crying. 

His eyes widened upon the realization. He was crying. How pitiful he was, crying in his room all alone at 1 a.m. He hastily tried to wipe his tears away, only for more to well up in his eyes and replace them, leaving their salty tracks in their wake as they ran down his face and dripped onto the notes he so painstakingly took in class. 

Ruined. Absolutely ruined. 

Bzzt...Bzzt...Bzzt…

Right. He needed to check his phone. He didn’t want to cause him to worry. He didn’t want to drag Bokuto-san down with him. 

He sniffled, and turned on his phone, trying desperately to get his eyes to blink past the tears rapidly desscending down the slopes of his cheeks to read the messages left behind by Bokuto-san. The messages read:

Hey, hey, hey! Agaaashiiiiiiii! 

Agaashiiii???

Agaashiii? How come you aren’t answering me?

Akaashi? Are you ok?

He smiled. He could practically hear Bokuto-san call out through him in the text messages. Bokuto-san was a blinding star. He didn’t need to be sullied by the shadow which Akaashi would cast on him.

His fingers felt so numb, but he forced them to type out a response anyway. 

Yes, Bokuto-san. I am fine. I was simply studying for the English test that I have tomorrow. I apoligize for my late response.

The response practically came right after he sent the message. 

Ok Akaashi! Get some sleep soon!

He smiled. He could feel the suffocating feeling ebb away so that it wasn’t a viscous fluid that filled his lungs, choking him. It sat heavy in his chest, silently weighing him down but no longer constricting him.

He knew it would be alright in the end.

**Author's Note:**

> Word Count: 826 Words 
> 
> Just a short little one-shot I wrote in like 15 minutes. Thanks for reading. Until next time~


End file.
